It’s 3am and I’m ready to kill myself. I have so many pills and it would be so easy. I can’t call anyone because it’s the middle of the night. I can’t do this. I want to overdose so fucking badly. I need someone. I shouldn’t be alone. I want to die. I want to die.
The best thing about switching doctors is getting to wiggle my way into bigger prescriptions.
Fat and suicidal.
I go from being fine to being depressed as shit so fucking fast. I only have one Xanax left and I want it now but I won’t be able to get more until Tuesday so idk maybe I shouldn’t. I just want to cut and die, but I’ve been trying not to cut. This sucks.
My thighs are bigger than my chances in life
Coming down from being manic is terrible.
I want to gain but I can’t handle eating. My boyfriend likes me better when I weigh more but now I’m going to lose again and I’m afraid he’s going to lose interest in me. I love him. I can’t lose him. I can’t handle it.
I texted him saying I shouldn’t be alone after I’d taken about a fourth of what would be considered a lethal dose of what I took, he responded and got to my house just after I’d taken half. I don’t really know if I’d have continued taking them if he hadn’t come to get me. Reaching out when I’m in a shit place is always so hard, but he thanked me for telling him what I was doing before it got too serious so that makes it feel a bit less bad.
I’m overdosing. I promised my boyfriend I’d tell him if I was going to but he hasn’t responded to the last two texts I sent so I’ll seem like I’m only looking for attention if I tell him. Idk someone help me, I don’t know what to do. My hands are going numb,
i’m frequently visited by three spirits at night
- the ghost of i fucked up
- the ghost of i’m currently fucking up
- and the ghost of i’m probably going to fuck up in the future