Even when i like it I hate it.
I’m numb and I want to be dead.
yeah mom im ok i just dont want to be alive haha
When I say “please don’t take a picture of me” it’s not because I’m being bitchy and stubborn, it’s because if I see that picture I will seriously feel so bad about myself and think I am the ugliest thing on earth and sink a little deeper into self consciousness and hatred.
I got so high yesterday that I just slept for 12 hours and am still high.
Got a kidney stone in the middle of a 3 hour long church service. At least my mom gave me edibles and I got a Xanax so I can’t feel much of anything.
I think about 3 things:
2. killing myself
Nothing else even matters anymore.
I don’t want to get through this. I’m ready to stop suffering. I just want to die. I shouldn’t be alone but it’s too late to bother anyone. I just want to die.
It’s 3am and I’m ready to kill myself. I have so many pills and it would be so easy. I can’t call anyone because it’s the middle of the night. I can’t do this. I want to overdose so fucking badly. I need someone. I shouldn’t be alone. I want to die. I want to die.
The best thing about switching doctors is getting to wiggle my way into bigger prescriptions.